Guide to going to a amusement park high.

With the start of spring, it is just a short leap till summer. The thing on peoples mind is time off and vacations. Life becomes simpler and you get to do fun activities. Just like me, many of my stoner friends will be visiting various theme-parks around the world, most likely while high. Let's learn how to be classy about it.

What to pack:

• Marijuana: Most theme parks have exceptional security, with almost every square inch of the park being covered. It is not a good idea to bring any smoke in. Most theme park parking lots have security cameras in them, so don't think you are safe to smoke there. Marijuana that you smoke has a very noticeable smell, and usually theme parks are crowded with families. I guarantee someone will notice, and you do not want to be caught with weed, a pipe, or rolling paper. I suggest you bring edibles to the park. The high from an edibles last much longer then when you smoke marijuana, meaning your high will make it through the line AND the ride. Don't get stoned just for the line. Also, your pot cake, brownie, chocolate or whatever blends in really well with all the other candy and junk food served at the park.

• Clear-eyes: You will be outside most of the time, which makes your eyes even more red from getting high. Clear eyes sold in the park is 8x more expensive then if you bought it from the store.

• Comfortable shoes. Walking while stoned is a bummer in itself, and at a theme park, you will be doing a lot of walking.

What to do:

Now that you are high and in a theme park, have fun! There is a lot to do, and you will have fun doing it. You will find the rides to be much more exciting and fun while stoned. Even the kiddy rides will be fun.

• Roller Coasters: The sensation of being stoned on a roller coaster is worth the trip alone. It will feel like you are flying.
• Ferris Wheel: Being up in the air with a beautiful view is a great experience.
• Haunted House: Your stoned self may forget that the ghosts are not real.
• Rides in General: Rides are just more fun while stoned, and you may notice things you have not noticed when riding them before.
• Scenery: If the rides are making your head spin, take a break and take a stroll around and admire the expensive scenery and theming that is around the park. A well themed park spends millions to create beautiful landscape and scenery. Soak it in.
• Food: Funnel cakes, ice-cream, churros, slushees, candy, burgers, pizza, fries, popcorn all sold at one place! It is munchie heaven. I personally recommend a fresh pink cotton candy while stoned, it is heaven.

Dangers:

• You must remember to be safe while stoned at a park! You will be on rides that go up really high (no pun intended) and it won't be fun to fall out of the ferris wheel because you and your stoned buddy found it amusing to rock the seat while on top. Use common sense, and observe all safety warnings provided by the park.

• You will get hungry, and the junk food will look amazing. But be warned, parks make a good portion of their money for overcharging on their food and merchandise. Make sure you know the price before you order a $100 order.

• Long lines can defiantly be a buzz kill. Find ways to amuse yourself while stoned. Ipod, people watching, or just good conversation can make the time go by.

How to act:

• Don't call attention to yourself by acting high, until you get on the ride at least. Behave and be respectable to all those around you, remember there are probably kids near by. It takes A LOT to run a theme park, so don't be rude to the overworked underpaid park employee

Cajun Potpocorn in 5 easy steps

Today we have a special guest Pinkie with The Classy Stoner. She was kind enough to make Cajun potpcorn for me! It was delicious and she was nice enough to share the recipe for us.

Ingredients:

Popcorn

Cannabutter

Regular butter

Granulated Garlic (in the spice aisle)

Cajuan Spice (She used Kernal Seasons)

Step 1.

Make a bowl or bag of popcorn using your method of choice (Microwave, air pop, stove)

Step 2.

Depending on the strength of your cannabutter and to even out the taste, you may want to go half and half with regular butter (or margarine). It usually takes a lot of butter to cover the popcorn.

Melt your butter and cannabutter in 30 second intervals, slowly stirring between each time.

REMEMBER real butter melts quicker then cannabutter.

Be careful to check the butter so it does not burn.

Step 3.

Pour the butter on the popcorn in 1/3 intervals. Shaking and mixing between each pour (don’t be scared to get your hands dirty). This ensures every kernel gets some butter.

Step 4.

Shake the garlic on the popcorn and mix

Shake the Cajun on the popcorn mix

Warning, too much Cajun will make you sneeze!

Step 5.

Enjoy with your favorite movie.

She urges to try and experiment with other seasonings.

You can usually sample kernel season’ seasonings different flavors for free and the butter bar at most big movie theatres. She recommends the Nacho Cheese (with a dash of jalapeno)

Lighter Etiquite

I know this has happened to you: A group has gathered and you have a nice sesh going on, the bowl with your lighter

I know this has happened to you: A group has gathered and you have a nice sesh going on, the bowl with your lighter is being passed around...and you are finally at your happy place. You don't know how much time has passed but you do know the bowl is done and that you should probably carry on what you were doing before you joined the group. You say your goodbyes and get up to leave. STOP.

Before walking away check to see if you have your lighter. Chances are, you don't! Since the dawn of time, stoners have pocketed other peoples lighters. Don't be mad, it is not intentional, chances are you have probably done it to someone else. It seems to be an automatic reflex while high. Lighter to hand, hand to pocket. I have lost more lighters then I can count that way. I have also acquired lighters I have never seen before. Be classy. Try to remember to return the lighter you used to the proper owner, and thank them for the use of it. If they have already left, try to keep hold of it till the next time you see them. If you notice someone else start to pocket your lighter, gently remind them that it belongs to you. Don't be upset if someone has already walked off with your lighter, that is just a buzz kill.

The Classy Stoner's Confession Booth

"I once smoked out of an apple and at the end got the munchies, so I took a bite of the apple..."

                                                                                                                          - anonymous 

The Classy Stoner's Confession Booth

We all have our favorite, lets just say....not so classy activities we do while baked. 

Done a bad impersonation?  Watched water boil? Tried to sing country?

Confess. 

Send an email with your confession to: 

                                                  ClassyStoner@Gmail.com

And I will post it. 

Confess, my stoner.  You will feel better you did. 

No names please. 

  8/20/08

The day the Classy Stoner met Tommy Chong

Better late then never: Pineapple Express movie review!

I have to admit when I bought tickets for Pineapple Express I knew almost nothing about the film. Sure I knew it was about stoners, and that is starred Seth Rogen, but apart from that nothing. I was happy to find that Pineapple Express is not another dumb wacky stoner film, but in fact a well written action comedy. The plot follows Seth Rodgen's stoner of a character, Dale Denton, as he buys a very rare strain of weed called Pineapple Express from his strange dealer Sual Silver (James Franco). Shortly after, Dale witnesses a murder and because he leaves a roach of that particular weed at the scene of the crime, the killers can track him and his dealer. This film is billed as an action comedy, and when they say action, they mean it. Filled with high speed car chases, explosions, and automatic weapons, Pineapple Express is a new hybrid of the classic stoner film and creates: The Action Stoner film. Slightly too long and filled with just a pinch of too much gore, Pineapple Express has some moments that leave you utterly confused. But Rogen and Franco put so much in their character you can't help but love them, and drool over the bud they are smoking.  In a strange way Seth Rogen gives a chilling warning to young stoners to adjust their ways or they might end up like his character: slightly over weight and dating a girl in high school. While I enjoyed Pineapple Express greatly and encourage every stoner to see it, I felt it could have been better. But people, if we are going to smoke and go to the movies, be classy and smart about it. Get yourself a nice pot cupcake and eat it before hand. Or roll yourself a nice blunt and enjoy it outside. Don't be like the idiots at my theatre and get busted smoking in the bathroom. Also, a giant red icee from the concession stand will cure even the worst of cotton mouth.